The "Ter"s of life

Life is a comedy of errors. Period. Well if you have a humorous outlook to life, you will see the comedy in the going-ons around us.

Looking back at my own life I can see a lot of humour in it. I always thought that I'll get married, live in this fabulous house and have fabulous children. Oh yes I'll have a fabulous husband too. I will live happily ever after like they say in the hundreds of M & B (Mills and Boons). Yes everything in my life will be fabulous.

Hold and behold I was in for a shock.

For beginners I got married al-right to a fabulous guy. But things were not too well down under. My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage after three months. I was devastated and spiralled into a depression. I was momentarily happy when I got pregnant again, only to see it terminating itself after 8 weeks. By now, I was so desperate to be pregnant again but for once I listened to my doctor to just wait and take it easy.

I did and pregnancy came again and this time to full term with the delivery of Muhammad Haziman through cesarean section. Yippee....I got it right finally.

But I was unhappy with my house. It is not what I wanted and that got me depressed again.

I poured my unhappiness into my work. I found solace in sourcing out for grants and in 2002 I got the break. The Vice-Chancellor appointed me as the first Head, Department of International Relations. I was elated and poured my soul and energy in putting UKM on the world map. I worked tirelessly coming in on most weekends. However, in 2007 my work was unceremoniously torn down when PUSPA was disbanded. My soul was torn apart. Why oh why!

Aha now I look at it with a laugh. I guess Allah wanted to tell me something. Nothing lasts forever except for Him. Got it!

It was also during a trip to Graz, Austria in 2010 that I felt the need to get my life in order again. My marriage was not going anywhere and we hardly talk to one another. I guess we became strangers over the years. I finally gathered enough courage to talk to him and was so relieved that he agreed to a divorce. What was I thinking during my 20s! Fabulous marriage is now over.

My pride and joy though is my son Muhammad Haziman. I am so blessed to have him. I guess Allah again is telling me something. Be happy with the blessings He has bestowed upon me. Time for me to look at the blessings that I have in my life. Time to acquaint myself with the concept of husnuzon.

Finally I'm alone again and live in this fabulous house. I have a fabulous son. I have a fabulous career. I have fabulous friends and family. But I'm alone.

I continued giving out positive jibes and kept my mind happy with good thoughts. I prayed that He will show me the way to Him.

Then it all happened so fast.

Chance meeting while out jogging in Putrajaya. I needed a bike and he was there to give advice.

Later I joined the biking group and before I knew it we were married.

Wan and I are certainly the actors and actress of this drama. We terjumpa, terkawan and finally bernikah. Now this is really the comedy in my life but certainly not an error.

Now I can complete the equation. I have a fabulous husband.

I guess I must have done some right things in my life to be given such a blessed life. I hang on dear to all His blessings and feel ever so "bersyukur".

I guess it is how we look at things. If we see the big beautiful blessings that Allah has given us we will feel bersyukur. If we keep on harping and sweating the small stuff we will be forever unhappy no matter what.

Syukur Ya Allah for correcting my life and putting me back on Your track. Syukur you sent Wan Azarudin Wan Mahmud to show me that I needed to do a lot of changes in my life to get back to You. Thank you Wan for leading me back to Him.

Now I feel fabulous because I have found Him again. Amin.