Today I had to invigilate my third year Solid State Chemistry paper in Dewan Tun Abdullah Salleh. As usual we get to meet other lecturers too from your own faculty as well as other faculties in UKM.
A colleague of mine from Nuclear Science who has not seen me for sometime commented "Prof. Yang, I love your "new look". Something must have happened to make you change. I used to think, when are you going to cover up". I just smiled at him.
Yes there have been many changes in my life all thanks to the barakah of Ramadhan in 2011. I have been through a lot in life. Some have been good and there were equally bad moments too. However, one thing that I have noticed is that Allah SWT has given me lots of good rezeki. Ever since my student's days, I always had money. No matter how bad that month has been, miraculously, money will come my way and get me out of trouble. I don't know why then but always I will get out of money trouble.
I remembered once, I went to Nottingham to see my cousin. My friend Latifah was with me and we waited at the station for my cousin to come. Somehow, there was a breakdown in communication and my cousin did not get the message of our visit. Remember this was in 1981 and there was no handphone then. Even if there was it was the size of a small bag! We waited and she did not turn up. We finally found a few Malay students who were kind enough to take us in for the night. Sure enough by the next morning I found my cousin!
There have been many things which I did during what I like to call my "Jahiliah" days. I feel so guilty just thinking about it. I was young and gullible and FOOLISH. However, I guess Allah still loved me despite all the wrongs that I did. He gave me a good life and ensured that I always had plenty of good food on the table.
Someone commented to me that I should not have it so good because of my wrong doings. I guess I am one very lucky girl.
So during the Ramadhan of 2011, after listening and pondering to the comment that I should not have it so good I started to reflect on my inner self. Yes I have been one very lucky girl to be given Allah's rezeki. Why I wonder? Perhaps, Allah chose it to be that way that I should receive His Rahmat and Barakah. Alhamdullilah.
So I figured that my luck cannot run too long. Perhaps it was meant to be this way so that I feel His presence and I am compelled to turn to Him and amend my ways. Yes, I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
So I took it in my stride to change.
I know when I turn and put my full faith in Him, He will not let me down. He will show me the way to the right path as we say in our Fatihah.
That is what I have done for the past 4 months. Turn to Allah SWT and let Him decide.
Even though there are turmoils in my life I accept and embrace them as challenges Allah has put before me. The greater the challenge the more He wants me to learn about Him.
I have learnt to be patient. Through patience we see His light coming through to guide us.
Syukur Ya Allah for your mercy on me. I know now that You have given me your barakah and rahmat so that I am reminded of You.
Syukur I have finally found You and I will never let go. I find inner peace on Your path. Please ensure that I don't ever stray again.
Ya Allah mohon Kau lindungi hamba Mu yang kerdil ini.
Amin......
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